Recently someone posted something on Facebook about Uncle Poodle and Honey Boo Boo. Although generally pretty up-to-date on current events, I admit I had no idea what a Honey Boo Boo or an Uncle Poodle was. So I Googled it. If you are as clueless I was, here is the skinny and low down on who they are.
Honey Boo Boo is the nickname for a seven year old central Georgia girl named Alana, who made regular appearances on TLC’s Toddlers and Tiaras. Apparently she and her family were amusing enough that TLC offered them their own reality show, called “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”. Uncle Poodle is her gay, redneck uncle who she says “has a little fruit in his tank”, and teaches her some of her dance moves. Did you catch that? Gay. Redneck. That may be the first time those two lifestyles have ever openly resided in the same sentence.
Anyway, after reading about it, I managed to catch an episode the exact same night.
Butter my butt and call me a biscuit, if that wasn’t the most colloquial slice of rural southern USA since Deliverance brought us dueling banjos. I was completely disgusted with the show, but probably not for the reason TLC thought I would be.
I must preface by saying I generally detest reality TV. I do like to watch “Hoarders”, because it makes me feel like a domestic goddess. I also like to watch “Strange Addiction”, because watching people compulsively eat things like nail polish, toilet paper, and Comet cleanser makes it more acceptable that my 14 year old will only eat chicken tenders and pizza.
But mostly, I detest reality TV. It is at best boring. Are there really that many people watching what sort of junk is to be found in abandoned storage units? And at its worst, it is all kinds of trashy and degenerate (Jersey Shore). And along the spectrum, we have totally UNREAL reality, such as Repo Men, which is scripted, bad acting, AND stupid. STOO-PID.
Toddlers and Tiaras captured the attention of people fascinated by these children, dressed up and paraded around like toy poodles. It certainly caught my attention. There is something deeply disturbing about these kids, some as young as three, being outfitted in provocative outfits, with fake hair, fake nails, fake front teeth (bumpers), and glamour make-up befitting a super model. Aren’t little girls cute enough on their own? When is it the right message to a child that in order to be beautiful, you have to totally change everything about yourself? But I digress.
So, enter Honey Boo Boo. Alana is a sassy, pudgy little fireball of a seven year old, wise beyond her years, and full of energy, opinions, and Chicken Mc Nuggets. Her mother June, and father Sugar Bear (Uncle Poodle’s brother), didn’t graduate from high school, have never married each other, and her three older sisters are all from different misters. The family lives in a small, run-down wood frame home in a rural Georgia community. There appears to be an overabundant fondness for farting and belching. As a fellow southerner, I do appreciate their deft use of colloquialisms.
With so much to poke fun at, why would I dislike the show? Well, that’s WHY I dislike the show. First of all, I think TLC wants the viewers to be shocked, and maybe disgusted at the family’s lifestyle. They attempt to portray them as lard-munching, moonshine swilling dolts whose family tree doesn’t fork. You almost expect someone to whip out a crack pipe, or for domestic violence to ensue. The show is trying to capitalize on some long held southern stereotypes that are insulting to me as a southerner.
But mostly I am disgusted at how the show seeks to ridicule this family, when none of the important aspects of them deserve ridicule. As an example of how I am sure TLC meant to capitalize on the shock factor, a viewer recently wrote:
What in the world?! A pile of uneducated, grossly overweight weirdos who parade around a fat kid in pagents. That’s not cute, it’s purely disgusting.
Wow….What a bully this guy is. Does any of his critique seek to judge them on anything important?
Yes, they are simple. Yes their manners would have Emily Post rolling over in her grave. Yes, they use colorful language unheard of by most northern or city-dwelling ears. But at the heart of them, they are a good family. They stick by each other, including gay Uncle Poodle, even with all the fruit in his tank. That is no small feat in the rural south. There is clearly much love among them. Their home, although simple, is neat, and kept up. They are friendly and active in their community, and they have their priorities in the right order.
I read today that they are getting a raise this next season, from $2,000 per episode, to $15,000 per episode. They were also offered a new home, which they declined, citing that they love their community and don’t wish to leave it. The mother turned down an offer of having an agent, stating that she wanted nothing getting in the way of her being able to parent properly.
In the end, they have a lot more of a certain type of “class” than a lot of well-heeled, well-educated folks that are sitting back and laughing at them, and now at least, they’ll be able to bank on it.
So, in honor of Honey Boo Boo, I bring you some of my favorite recipes made with honey….
Homemade Bit-O-Honey
- 5 oz sliced almonds
- 1 cup honey
- 1 cup peanut butter
- 1 t salt
- 3 cups powdered milk
Place almonds on a baking sheet and place in a 300* oven. Toast until golden and fragrant. About 10 minutes. Place in a food processor, and pulse until finely ground, but not smooth.
Place honey, peanut butter and salt in a large saucepan. Over medium high heat, heat and stir constantly until mixture darkens and comes together in one thick mass and no longer sticks to the side of the pan. Pour into the bowl of a stand mixer that has been fitted with the paddle attachement. Add milk powder and almond powder. Beat until well mixed. Pour onto a silicone mat or wax paper, and roll out with a rolling pin to 1/4 inch thickness. While still warm, cut into small pieces with knife, and allow to cool completely. Store in an airtight container.
Here’s Some Bit-O-Honey, Boo Boo
Honey Butter Fried Chicken
- 1 whole chicken, cut up
- 3 cups brown rice flour
- 1 T paprika
- 1 T black pepper
- 1 T salt
- 2 teaspoons powdered garlic
- 1/2 cup sesame seeds
- 1 cup oil
- 2 sticks salted butter
- 1 cup honey
In a large bowl, combine flour, salt, pepper, paprika and garlic. Heat oil over medium high heat in a large dutch oven. Preheat oven to 400*
Melt butter and honey together over low heat in a small saucepan. Add sesame seeds and set aside.
Dredge chicken pieces in flour mixture, and place skin side down in hot oil. Brown well on both sides. Repeat in batches if necessary. Place dutch oven in oven, uncovered, and cook for 20 minutes. Drain oil out of the dutch oven. Pour honey butter mixture evenly over chicken, and turn to coat. Return to oven and bake another 15 minutes. Remove from oven, and turn to coat once before before serving.
Honey Boo Boo Butter Fried Chicken
Honey Soy Meatballs
- 1 package prepared meatballs (2 pounds)
- 2 cups honey
- 1 cup soy sauce
- 1/2 cup sesame seeds
- 1 bunch of green onions, chopped
Place all ingredients except for green onions in a slow cooker. Cook over low for 6 hours, or high for 4 hours. To serve as an entree, serve with steamed rice with green onions on top. To serve as an appetizer, pour into a chaffing dish and top with green onions.
Honey Soy Meatballs
Warning** raw honey should not be given to children under the age of one. It may contain a type of botulism that, although harmless to adults, can prove fatal to babies.
Texana's Kitchen 
You tell ’em, Christine!
Yeah, it felt good to vent!
Well you did a wonderful job of turning the premise on its head…
Well, yeah. I haven’t watched the show, but the comments about it that I’ve run across all have more than a little stink of “Haw, haw, let’s laugh at these here weirdos and feel superior to them!” – which is pretty unappealing. It would be funny, though, if the family is knowingly exploiting this attitude, using it as a hook to pick up some cash while it lasts. 😉
That is the silver lining! This family will earn more money than they could ever have imagined before, so I hope they laugh all the way to the bank.
Loved. Every. Word. 🙂
Thanks….it felt good to vent!
Well-heeled? Well-educated? Watching any reality TV? Nope. Not even to make fun of the acting. Except for you, of course. 😉
Oh, no…..I certainly didn’t mean to indicate that any such people would be watching Honey Boo Boo…..but they would certainly cringe and judge them if they did….
I have a standing rule against watching reality shows (except Pioneer Woman). I think I’ll pass on watching the show, and content myself with reading your review. Thanks for your thoughts on the rural lifestyle. Those are my roots; I don’t appreciate people making fun of them, either.
Yes, best to stay away from reality tv altogether…..it kills brain cells.
Maybe it should be called Honey Bye, Bye. I have watched my fair share of reality tv and most of it is boring and retarded. I find that it give me comfort to know that there are some real nut jobs out there and my family is not aloneLOLOLOLO.
Your fried chicken recipe sounds delicious. Unfortunately, it has been my lifelong policy not to fry whenever possible.
As for Honey Boo Boo, I guess I agree with your comments. I admit that I was quick to judge them, but then again I only watched the show for five minutes so that’s all I could do. I don’t watch any reality shows (I had to ask a coworker what a “Snooki” was) except for an occasional “Pawn Stars” or the like; nothing like “Jersey Shore” or “The Bachelor.”
I can’t think of of “Toddlers and Tiaras” without thinking of the JonBenet Ramsey murder.
By the way, I think it is a variety of botulism in honey that is a problem for infants.
Good call on not eating fried food….I’m pretty sure it is the devil. I have a policy about not watching reality tv, but will partake occasionally to see what the hoopla is about…and it almost always proves my theorem that it shouldn’t be watched at all….
I just don’t like making a mess.
Then again, my mother was taking the skin off chicken 60 years ago.
Good call on the botulism….I corrected it.
Well, my mother was taking the skin off chicken 60 years ago, although she used the shmaltz for yummies like mashed potatoes.
As for me, I just hate the mess.
Well, when I first read your post title, I wondered if these were the code words for unusual sex acts I was clearly unfamiliar with. 🙂 I can’t say I’m a fan or viewer of Toddlers, etc. but I’ll admit to having a slight Real Housewives addiction and those “upscale” ladies act just awful! 🙂
Yes, when I first heard of honey boo boo and uncle poodle, I thought they were names for pet goats or something….truth is often funnier!
That was hilarious! Yummy recipes too 🙂
Great commentary! Your comments are always well written, humerous and pithy:)
I cannot stand reality TV. it’s gone way down hill and the people on them disgust me. Don’t even get me started on Jersey Shore etc. We have several British programmes like that here and they’re still making more. They are rubbish. Honey Boo Boo scares me. That Go Go Juice is wrong and it turns her into a psycho..
As a Southerner, I too think the show is offensive, and the exploitation of those people is cringe worthy! On a positive note, another great post with delicious recipes from Texana! Look forward to seeing y’all in a few weeks!
I absolutely agree with your perspective on this. Unfortunately, this ridiculing of certain members of US southern society is not limitted to US TV producers. A few careers in the UK have been made on TV shows where people from the South are a major focus, while others have flirted with self-righteous indignation to up their ratings a bit (Jamie Oliver, Top Gear spring to mind).
On the other hand, have you heard of this show about a family of duck-call makers from Louisiana? I’ve never seen it myself, but from what I have read it stands a few stereotypes on their head.
And thanks for the Bit O Honey recipe! Can’t get it here, but always by when I am in the States. Although I think I am the last person on earth who doesn’t have one of those mixers…
You are so good. Your writing is fun, hilarious. I love the expression: “butter my butt and call it a biscuit”. Never heard before but I may use it soon!
Thanks! Gotta love all those southernisms….
Reblogged this on GothicHeartsandBatWings and commented:
I was quite interested in reading this marvelous post. Texana’s Kitchen has a point especially with just how TLC seems to portray many people and show off the bad side only for publicity, but then again.. guess what kind of society we have today? A POOR one at that! People should be ashamed of themselves first off, for even watching of wanting to broadcast any sort of reality TV for just amusement. Honestly we don’t need any more IDIOTS in the world. The amount we have today is bad enough. And those little pageant shows such as Toddlers and Tiara’s.. What the hell are lose little kids even learning? That it’s better to be crude as a competitor without any moral and with little care of how you really look like and not to love yourself for who you are? The only thing that those little kids are learning is that mommy and daddy are going to be there at their every whim and that they can rely on them for everything, forever and that they should always be in makeup and not as their natural selves. People say that children suffer from self-esteem issues, as do many adults, but where does it all come from? If they don’t have that mask of makeup or fake hair or what ever they can put on them, what will they do when they don’t have that and when they’re on their own? I think personally that people like that are the ones who suffer because they’re not being taught to be independent and try to do things for themselves. They are spoiled and shown that unless you’re pretty enough to win a pageant or be in some beauty contest and do not wear make up, that they are then seen as ugly or monsters to themselves. It’s all a false image that they are building up and one that won’t save them for long at that.
Loved the blog. Love your humor. Those are my sentiments exactly. My son said I broke his TV while I was at his house. It only received the HGTV or Hallmark channel. I can’t even watch couple argue over a house. i get all my entertainment right here as well as education and enlightenment. Love the recipies with honey. I don’t watch the food channel. Too many calories. Keep it coming. 🙂
Thank you! I started blogging and cooking more to pass the evening time….too much rubbish on TV anymore.
Well said; once again you ran the gamut from indigestible to wonderfully palatable. The recipes are a match for the show’s premise: I probably will never make them and I know I will never watch Honey Boo Boo but it was all fun to eavesdrop on!
Thanks! I’m glad you find enough to enjoy and hang around. A little something for everyone is my goal.
What great insight. I love how you humanized another of the mass media exploits. “Honey Boo Boo” seems to be on everyone’s lips these days and from my encounters, it’s not for the compliments. One of the perks here at the Path Valley Hotel is that we get no TV reception so we watch (and rewatch and rewatch) old movies and the occasional Hulu episode. I saw Honey Boo Boo promoted on cable the last time we traveled and my first impression was what a terror. The rest of my intel has all come from the mouths of others. As a writer, I was so pleased to see another writer articulate the other side of the story (because there always is one). You not only have a gift, you know how to use it to become the voice of others who cannot be heard above the ca-ching of all those who are cashing in on their circumstances. I always look forward to your sass and humor but this post makes me look forward to more social commentary coming from you. Thanks for this post. MItchell Kyd
Oh thank you. What lovely feedback. That made my day!
I’m glad I read this post. I have never watched the show. The advertisements and most of the feedback I have heard really do seem to make fun of the family and perpetuate “Deliverance-esque” stereotypes, so I was convinced it was a pile of garbage. You’ve piqued my curiosity and made me actually want to check it out–but from a whole new perspective. I’ll be looking for their good side. Thanks!!
I stopped watching reality shows a long time ago because they just don’t make any sense to me. Funny how some want to take away PBS but keep shows like this on the air. Unbelievable. I’m glad you explained the premiss of this show though because I wasn’t sure what all the fuss was about. Love that dessert recipe btw.
Well said. I don’t do reality shows–they seem like a lame way to feel better about your own life by watching someone else’s loser life. And turning babies into Barbie dolls for weirdo lechers to drool over is sick, sick, sick. And so are the mothers who vicariously want to live through their children and are willing to steal away their daughters’ childhoods to do it.
Love it!! I think you are right on!
I actually don’t own a tv but saw a “news article” just last week about Honey Boo Boo. I also didn’t know what it was but it takes the same view you do but takes it even further to a Lindsey Lohan/Britney Spears mix. http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-do-of-course-realize-that-this-is-going-to-end,29734/ it’s the Onion so it’s not real but it is true.
I love the onion, anyway….
Check this out: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=490857590935783&set=a.142840805737465.18668.142835299071349&type=1&relevant_count=1
Yeah, I saw that a while back….very telling!
The honey butter chicken sounds fantastic.
You are a kind soul. I have vaguely heard of Honey Boo Boo –I think Barbara Walters had her on the most fascinating people of the year thing she does, saw the ad on TV. But didn’t watch it. Nor any of the reality stuff.