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My Crack, er, Ambien Baby Turns One

One year ago today, I had a baby.  Not a boy baby, or a girl baby, but a word baby.  A bouncing baby blog that I named Texana’s Kitchen.  I’m sure she will change it the day she turns 16.

Like most babies, she was the result of what happens when two loves come together.  Or when someone has a Tequila induced lapse in judgement.  For me, maybe it was a little of each.  My ability to tell a boring story in a way that makes you think it is actually funny, and my passion for cooking came together one night after a margarita. Or four. Alcohol should never be mixed with technology, social networking, or decision-making of any kind. Neither should it be mixed with Ambien, as it turns out.

Anyway, at some point I thought it would be a good idea to commit myself to yet more responsibility. Give myself one more significant task on my weekly to-do list.  Stretch myself even thinner than I was already stretched.  So I web-surfed my way on over to Word Press, and my baby was born.  Thank goodness having real babies requires a bit more thought and effort.  Usually.

Luckily there was no sober realization the next morning that I had gotten in over my head.  And in the year since, like it was with my actual human babies, I have grown to love this one more and more every day.  A little piece of me that will live on in perpetuity. 

And by the way, I am happy to report that I kicked my Ambien habit cold turkey, so my little word baby is growing up free of chemical substances. 

A public service message: Listen to me, boys and girls…Don’t take Ambien. Ever.  That is all.

These are your brains

 

This is Ambien

 

Any questions?

To celebrate the birth of my progeny, I’ve  made my favorite birthday cake—a fabulous combination of moist yellow cake, cream-cheesy custard, and fresh fruit…all topped with whipped cream.  And for those of you intimidated by all of the scratch baking I do, have no fear.  This is actually one of the very few things I make that starts from a box.  Go figure.

And considering it has all this great fresh fruit, it is practically health food, right?  Just go with it.

My favorite cake. EVER.

 

Hawaiian Delight Cake

  • 1  18 oz box moist yellow cake mix (plus ingredients needed to make)
  • 1  box Jiffy yellow cake mix (plus ingredients needed to make)
  • ½ cup sour cream
  • 1  4 oz box instant vanilla pudding
  • 1 c ups whole milk
  • 1  8 oz block cream cheese, room temperature
  • 1  teaspoon coconut extract
  • 1  can crushed pineapple, well-drained
  • 2  bananas
  • Juice of one lemon
  • 1  pound sliced strawberries
  • 1 large tub of cool whip (I use stabilized whipped cream, below)
  • Optional toppings: shredded coconut, chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350* (325* if using a dark pan)

Spray a 13×9 pan with baking spray.  In a large bowl, combine both cake mixes with the ingredients required to make them, plus the sour cream.  Mix for 2 minutes on medium speed.  Pour into pan, and bake for 5 minutes longer than directed on the large cake mix box, for your altitude, etc…

Allow to cool for 10 minutes, and then turn out onto serving platter.  Allow to cool completely.

In a medium-sized mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth.  Scrape down bowl.  Add pudding mix and milk.  Beat until smooth.  Beat in coconut extract.  When mixture has thickened, spread on top of cake. Scatter drained pineapple over top of custard.

Peel bananas and slice into thin slices.  Toss with lemon juice.  Arrange bananas over top of pineapple in an even layer.  Top with an even layer of sliced strawberries.  Frost on all sides with cool whip or stabilized whipped cream.  Top with coconut and/or pecans if using.  I don’t use them–it’s a texture thing.

Refrigerate a few hours, or overnight if possible.

Try to share!

Stabilized Whipped Cream

Whipped cream is far superior to artificial whipped toppings, but will quickly break down and become a runny mess if not stabilized.  If you wish to use real whipped cream for dishes that need to last a while, this is a simple way to have real whipped cream with the same stability of the artificial junk.

Ingredients

    • 2 teaspoon unflavored gelatin
    • 8 teaspoons cold water
    • 2 cups heavy whipping cream
    • 1/2 cup powdered sugar
    • ½ teaspoon vanilla, or other extract, if desired

Directions

In a small pan, stir together gelatin and water. Let stand for a few minutes until thick (about 5).  Place over low heat, stirring constantly, just until the gelatin dissolves. Remove from heat; cool briefly, not allowing it to set.  In a stand mixer or mixing bowl, beat whipping cream and sugar together until thick. Turn the speed to low, and slowly drizzle in the gelatin, beating until all is combined.  Add extract if using.

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Categories: BAKING, dessert, Food, humor, recipes, Texas, writing

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44 Comments on “My Crack, er, Ambien Baby Turns One”

  1. 2012/10/03 at 3:22 am #

    Well, congratulations you are doing great. 🙂

  2. 2012/10/03 at 3:22 am #

    you convinced me that it was health food -hahahaha

  3. 2012/10/03 at 5:48 am #

    My mouth is watering. It looks scrumptious!

  4. Carol
    2012/10/03 at 5:59 am #

    Happy birthday, blog!

  5. 2012/10/03 at 6:59 am #

    Happy Birthday to your little blog baby!! That birthday cake is aweseome! 🙂

  6. ankoku1331
    2012/10/03 at 7:16 am #

    Happy blog birthday and the cake recipe looks great even for me who is baking challenged…wonder if the wife will make the cake.

  7. 2012/10/03 at 7:17 am #

    Happy birthday!! Now, all the one-year-olds I’ve ever seen thought birthday cake was good for smooshing all over their faces…will your baby do that to your wonderful cake?

  8. Beyond The Green Door
    2012/10/03 at 7:33 am #

    Happy Birthday to your blog!! 🙂

  9. 2012/10/03 at 7:54 am #

    Happy blogaversary!

  10. 2012/10/03 at 8:27 am #

    Congrats on your one-year birthday blog. That’s a great accomplishment. I always enjoy reading your posts!

  11. 2012/10/03 at 9:00 am #

    Happy first Birthday to your word baby. I’m coming up on mine too. That cake looks to die for. If only…

  12. Mama Bread Baker
    2012/10/03 at 10:14 am #

    Congrats! I’m so glad I found your blog. My crumb snatchers will be too when they come home to this cake today! Yummmm

  13. 2012/10/03 at 10:31 am #

    This post was fantastic. My blog baby was conceived in a similar fashion. Happy blog birthday! I can’t wait to try that cake. 🙂

  14. 2012/10/03 at 10:42 am #

    I never made anything as fancy as that, but one thing I used to do with angel food cake is to cut the cake in half (horizontally), hide some of the fruit inside, reassemble it, and frost the sides so you couldn’t see the split.

  15. Ottie Lasater
    2012/10/03 at 10:55 am #

    Congratulations & happy Birthday. Love this site & my husband is very appreciative of the recipes.

  16. 2012/10/03 at 10:57 am #

    “Alcohol should never be mixed with technology, social networking, or decision-making of any kind.” – Truer words have never been spoken, but I’m happy your blog decision was made! Happy birthday!

  17. 2012/10/03 at 11:21 am #

    Congratulations on a whole year. I started my blog only this July/August so I am so thrilled to read posts like this that spur me on. I love your recipes and long may they continue! xx

  18. changeforbetterme
    2012/10/03 at 1:05 pm #

    Happy Happy blog birthday! Wow, when my blog grows up it hopes it’s half as good as yours! Congrats!! Ummm I promise never to take ambien. 😉

  19. 2012/10/03 at 2:25 pm #

    I always assumed that tequila was how all babies (human and word) were conceived. 🙂 But happy blog birthday and I seriously want that cake!

  20. 2012/10/03 at 3:00 pm #

    Great post, Christine. Love your humour and will try out your cake recipe!

  21. 2012/10/03 at 7:06 pm #

    Happy Blog-Day! Great looking cake, too. I enjoy your humor–keep writing!

  22. 2012/10/03 at 7:45 pm #

    Congratulations! and OMG I think I’ve found MY favorite cake. Thanks to you.

  23. 2012/10/03 at 8:36 pm #

    Dear Christine, Congratulations! and you have a delicious blog! You were my first follower. Thank you and looking forward in visiting and enjoying your blog! 😀 Fae.

  24. 2012/10/03 at 9:33 pm #

    Hilarious as always. Happy Birthday to your blog. Nice work, and your cake looks divine.

  25. 2012/10/04 at 3:02 am #

    Happy Birthday! Love your blog!

  26. 2012/10/04 at 7:52 am #

    Congratulations! Hope I have the same excitement in a year. Think you do a great job blending personal anecdotes with humor and always offer … interesting … recipes. I know my wife would have surprised me with many of them and I may even tackle some myself.

  27. Lynette
    2012/10/04 at 9:08 am #

    Congrats, love the way you write! With many more to come I hope.

  28. evelynwye
    2012/10/04 at 12:31 pm #

    This is so perfect!

  29. 2012/10/04 at 6:37 pm #

    Happy Birthday!!! I love your blog (and I hate to cook!!) See, if you can get a totally undomesticated kitchen-phobic person to read a blog with the word “kitchen” in it, you know you’re doing well!!

  30. 2012/10/04 at 8:51 pm #

    Happy birthday bouncy baby 🙂 You’re a great parent, this baby’s gonna grow up to be amazing – as if it’s not already stunning enough 😉

  31. deadmousediaries
    2012/10/04 at 10:52 pm #

    Happy birthday to Baby Blog! Thanks for drawing all of us in to your celebration! As the mother of two human-type babies (well, they used to be babies), I have to agree with the comment from “lemonade”, the Terrible Twos should bring some interesting challenges! Be prepared for push-back at every turn. If your experience mirrors mine, the word you’ll be hearing most (in your head?) will be “No!”

  32. 2012/10/07 at 11:58 am #

    Congratulations! Your blog is always amusing, keep up the good posts!

  33. 2012/10/08 at 10:36 am #

    Congrats on a year of blogging! I enjoy your blog and it seems so entertaining and accomplished that I assumed you’ve been at it longer. Keep writing!

  34. 2012/10/13 at 3:39 pm #

    That cake looks freakishly amazing. Congratulations on your accomplishment. I made myself a cake to celebrate my 100th post, but mine isn’t quite as tasty…(it’s just an illustration)!

  35. 2012/12/03 at 8:48 pm #

    @Texanas Kitchen I have learned some things here, drinking=good, ambien=bad, blogging=good, cake=really good, love your cake, so happy you shared it with me for my birthday! Nettie

  36. 2012/12/03 at 11:01 pm #

    Happy, happy birthday, lovely blog!

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