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The Birds and The Bees of Avocados

Avocados are my favorite fruits. Now, if you are like most people, I know what you’re thinking:  “Avocados aren’t fruit. They can’t be fruit. Fruit is sweet. They must be vegetables, mustn’t they?”  Actually, no. And yes. You see, there are so many theories, opinions, and disciplines involved, that depending on whose viewpoint you are […]

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Going Hog Wild, With Whole Hog

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING: members of PETA and those who do not eat meat, you should prolly keep right on scrolling past this post. I’m from Texas, and we love meat up in here. Fresh on the heels of my post about big (pork) butts, I thought now would be a good time to share with you […]

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But, You Should See My Butt

What is YOUR big but? “But, what? Everyone I know has a big ‘But…?’ C’mon, Simone, let’s talk about your big “But”. —-Pee Wee Herman What? Like you don’t glean little nuggets of wisdom from Pee Wee Herman? That eternally childlike, sexually ambiguous, suit and bow-tie wearing imp from stage and screen? Anyway, he is […]

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Pie Are Square, And Other Reasons I Hated Math

A blast from the past, to celebrate Pi Day……..   I was never good at math.  Like most girls, I excelled in verbal acrobatics and science, but math and history were, well, Greek to me.  Not surprising, I guess, since so much of what we know of math was first contemplated, theorized, solved, and proved […]

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Party Hardy, Mardi

So, today is Mardi Gras, also known as Fat Tuesday or Shrove Tuesday.  In New Orleans, among other places, there will be much revelry. Parades and parties will abound. Booze will be flowing, breasts will be flashed, and beads will be thrown.  I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but […]

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Red Wine’s Evil Minions, and The Perils of Vacation Fat

Originally posted on Texana's Kitchen:
I just returned from a week in Texas Wine Country.  Not exactly an exotic getaway, since I live 30 short minutes away, but it’s always nice to get away for a while.  For a few years now, my parents have been renting this great little old ranch house for…

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A Delicious Recipe And A Lame Back Story

Oh. My. God. I know, I know. Right? Totally bizarre that I am going to do this, but this recipe was uber delicious and I wanted to share it while you can still get Meyer lemons….So, I am sharing a recipe, for which I am NOT furnishing a back story.  Besides, I don’t have time […]

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Friendship, Facebook, and Bread

“Once you label me, you negate me….” —Soren Kierkegaard The above quotes is one of my favorite ever, and I use it often.  Which in a way is pretty funny, because I only know it from having watched Wayne’s World, the movie, repeatedly, and if you don’t take the time to read subtitles, you would […]

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Retarded, Gay and Fat

Several years ago, when my boys were in the 10-14 age range, I fought a long battle with them over “retarded”. Everything and everyone was, apparently, retarded.  My Human Resource Director hat got on my head, and they had to hear about how hurtful it was to say those things, and what if you had […]

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Speaking of Sex, Without Actually

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our thoughts turn to love—both romantic love, and the kind that requires red lace underwear. Love is simple, but it isn’t always easy.  In any intimate relationship, there is the need for both romantic love, and the red lace underwear kind.  The key to a successful relationship is in striking a […]

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