Maple Glazed Bacon and Sausages
The first time I was cognizant that the Pioneer Woman, a.k.a. Ree Drummond, existed was about two years ago. A friend told me to check out her blog. Her what? Honestly, I had no idea what a blog was, but I was captivated immediately. Hers was the first blog I followed.
It wasn’t that her recipes are so unique, or her story so amazing. In fact, it was quite the opposite. She seemed so—regular. She’s a mom, a wife, a homemaker, and finds the humor in all of it. She could have been my neighbor, my sister, my friend. She could have been me.
Her cowboy husband is affectionately known as “Marlboro Man”, and he’s a hunk. My cowboy is just called Greg, but he’s a hunk, too–I met him when I fell on him from atop the speaker box on which I was dancing at a cowboy bar. I wonder if Ree has as much trouble as I do getting her cowboy into something other than jeans and boots? Even at weddings, my cowboy wears a Texas Tuxedo–tux on top, boots and jeans on bottom. Meee-ow.
The Pioneer Woman has a basset hound named Charlie. He has long wet ears and smells like pond-water, except for his feet. They smell like corn chips. Until I read that, I thought I was the only person on the planet in the habit of smelling her dog’s feet. My bloodhound’s name is Roscoe. He has long wet ears and smells like toilet water, except for his feet. They, too, smell like corn chips. Apparently, this is a hound thing.
And finally, there was what I will refer to as the Flay Connection. On the same evening that I wrapped up cooking a Thanksgiving meal FOR Bobby Flay on a soundstage in Los Angeles, she was cooking AGAINST him for the Thanksgiving episode of Throwdown. Of course, she beat him! It was a Thanksgiving special and he didn’t make mashed potatoes. I’d bet you dollars to doughnuts he doesn’t make that mistake again cooking against a southern woman.
With so much obviously in common, how could it be that this person–my “sister from another mister”–and I had never met? Surely we were destined to be friends……
So several weeks ago, I was watching Elf. I watch it regularly throughout the year, and twice on Christmas for good measure. My husband played Buddy the Elf perfectly for Halloween a few years ago. It was the best Halloween costume ever. EVER. I don’t know how I convinced him that it was okay for a cowboy to wear yellow tights on Halloween, but I did. Anyway, I was watching the movie and tweeting with friends, when I see a tweet from Ree to her friends. She is watching “Elf” too. She and her friends are tweeting each-other back and forth with movie quotes. We’re so much alike, that Ree Drummond and me…Here was the perfect opportunity to meet my soul sister. Obviously this was Kismet. Fate. I responded with an Elf tweet of my own. No response. Then I sent a picture of my husband in his Halloween costume. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent her a picture of a man in yellow tights.
I had been rejected. Dissed. Blown off. Gone were the dreams I had of The Pioneer Woman and I baking cranberry and goat cheese bruschetta together, while our husbands ride the range and check the fence lines. Roscoe and Charlie will never romp together in the field, and roll in stagnant ponds with reckless abandon.
If I was 14 I would have eaten a pint of mint chocolate chip to dull the ache in my heart. Instead, I skulked off to bake something.
In all seriousness, I do love The Pioneer Woman–her blog anyway–I am sure she is lovely, too. However, if we ever met in a bar and pounded back a few margaritas, I am sure we would become fast friends! Because that’s the way the best things find each other—not by design, but by happenstance.
Sometimes a universal, cosmic event brings things together in a partnership that transcends the ages. Like when I fell off that speaker box and onto the cowboy of my dreams. Like when that guy’s chocolate bar fell into that girl’s jar of peanut butter. Like the first time your bacon and sausage got into your maple syrup.
Some of the most timeless pairings are presented here, for your enjoyment…..
Maple Glazed Bacon and Sausages
Maple Glazed Bacon and Sausages
serves 4 regular folks, or 2 hungry cowboys
- 6 slices thick cut bacon
- 4 oz smoked sausage link (beef, pork, or turkey)
- 4 breakfast sausage patties (spicy if you like it)
- 1/2 cup maple syrup
- juice of half an orange
Cut bacon slices into 4 pieces each. In a large skillet over medium high heat, fry until just crisp, and drain on paper towel. Remove grease from the skillet. Fry sausage patties on both sides until done. Remove from skillet onto paper towel. Slice the smoked sausage into 1/4″ thick slices, and fry in skillet until browned and crusty. Add bacon and sausage patties back to skillet. Drizzle the syrup and juice over the meat, and stir to combine. Allow to cook for 30 seconds to 1 minute, until reduced and thickened. Serve with pancakes, waffles, or french toast.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie
Peanut Butter Chocolate Pie
Chocolate Cookie Crust
- 1/3 cup melted butter
- 1 32 oz package chocolate sandwich cookies
Pulse cookies in a food processor until smooth. Mix in butter. Press into bottom and up sides of a 10” deep dish pie plate, or a 10” spring form pan. Bake at 300* for 10 minutes. Place in refrigerator while preparing the next layer.
Flourless Chocolate Cake Layer
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cup white sugar
- 18 (1 ounce) squares bittersweet chocolate
- 2 sticks butter, softened, cut into 1” pieces.
- 6 large eggs
In a medium-sized saucepan over medium heat combine the water, salt and sugar. Stir until completely dissolved and set aside. Melt the bittersweet chocolate in either a double boiler or in the microwave, and place in your mixing bowl. Add the butter to the chocolate one piece at a time, beating each in before adding the next. Mix in the sugar and water syrup. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Pour the batter over the prepared crust, and bake for 45 minutes. The center may look unset, but that is okay. Chill for at least three hours.
Peanut Butter Cream Layer
- 2 (3 oz.) pkgs. cream cheese, softened
- 3/4 c. powdered sugar, sifted
- 1/2 c. peanut butter
- 2 tbsp. milk
- 8 or 9 oz. carton Cool Whip
In small mixing bowl beat together cream cheese and sugar until light and fluffy. Add peanut butter and milk, beating until smooth and creamy. Fold Cool Whip into peanut butter mixture. Pour over chocolate base. Chill for at least three hours before serving.
Top or serve with whipped cream, fudge sauce, and chopped salted peanuts, or chopped chocolate peanut butter candies.
Texana's Kitchen 
I thought the same thing about the Pioneer Woman-we both have 4 kids and we both have a son named Bryce. The hubs is no cowboy, but we have horses, chickens, and a large Great Dane. And pastures. I like her blog a whole lot more than her TV show. And I’ll be making some maple bacon and chocolate peanut butter pie. Keep blogging!
This made me howl with laughter. Great way to meet a hunk. I am a fan of her site but have never seen her show. I am a cowgirl wannabe. I have the horse but we live in the suburbs so she gets boarded at a friend’s farm. Love your sense of humor.
Yes, I like to say that rather than falling FOR my husband, I fell ON him!
Hey there, Christine! I am so out of the loop (although I have noted the Frito-Feet…)- didn’t even know Ree Drummond had a show. So funny that she looks a little like “chef” Bree VandeCamp on Desperate Housewives…
I wonder if some technical glitch kept Ree from responding to you on Twitter. Or did she really not recognize a fellow sister-under-the-skin?! (Or she’s just overwhelmed with her apparent success?)
So you were in the cook-off with Bobby Flay?! Congrats 😀 I sent an audition tape to Best New Food Network Star a few years back, but nothing happened…
Well, thanks for the fun blog!
Jennifer….if I am certain of anything, it is that Ree failed to tweet me back for no other reason than she is hugely, tremendously busy (well, that and she has no idea who I am). I don’t even time to tweet people back, and I am just a hobbie blogger and foodie. She seems to be a delightful person, and I do admire her funny and family oriented blog. Keep in touch and let me know how your cooking adventures go! So exciting, some of these things!
I can tell you from experience that trash talking via Twitter is another way to -not- be retweeted. In a recent blog, I took to task a blogger/writer for her article in Reader’s Digest on how we should tip in restaurants. I threw down the Twitter gauntlet, and …. nothing. Truth is, I’m a guy with 500 followers (many of them because I made deals in smoke-filled rooms). Her measly 250-word (unresearched) column, meanwhile, reached 40 million people — and that’s just the print version. — Your blog entry sort of reminds of a cross between ‘Muriel’s Wedding’ and ‘Charlie & the Chocolate Factory’; or maybe even ‘Oh Brother, Where Art Thou’. Your odyssey will end at some point and you’ll meet your twin. I just hope you aren’t as disappointed as I was when I met one of my childhood rock & roll heroes: Eddie Money.
Adam…you mean meeting Eddie Money wasn’t the highlight of your life? Were you sh-sh-sh-sh-shakin”? Haha.
I make it a point never to trash talk anyone. Anywhere. First of all, I just don’t really truly dislike anyone, and I don’t want my Karma to run over my Dogma.
Also, it is NOT a true goal of mine to meet many people. I would, however, have elbowed old ladies out of the way to have met Ronald Reagan. Maybe Mohatma Ghandi…
Keepin it real!
Christine
Well this was obviously The Pioneer Woman’s loss because she’s missed the pleasure of meeting you and reading you delightful posts and recipes. Or maybe she is a secret follower 🙂 Ree Drummond notwithstanding, I love the bacon that fell in the maple syrup, the chocolate that fell in the peanut butter and the way a cook fell on her dream cowboy 🙂
Awe, thanks Anita..my hubby and I are definitely my favorite pairing! But the other two are close..
🙂
I think your recipes are wonderful and I really enjoy your writing. Pics are good too!
Thanks, Rhonda….I think Granny is in my heart and my hands when I start messing around in the kitchen…
You can be friends with me any day!!! I too have fallen off of things when I’ve had one too many in my younger days. ;.)) In fact, I fell off a curb about four years ago at my brother-in-law’s wedding at a very famous country club in CT. I wasn’t all that tipsy, but I didn’t have my glasses on and whoooop, there she goes! LOL.
Cute story about you and your hubby.
Forget the Pioneer Woman. She’s obviously gotten too big for her britches. I really like your blog and your cooking. Maybe we are the two who are destined to do a show together some day…who knows! And, if we do, we will answer our tweets!
Kay, too funny about your brother-in-law’s wedding. Seems we always do those things at the worst times, or when the most people are around…thanks for following! I look forward to our first show! 😉
mmmm… Peanut Butter Chocolate Pie.. Yes please.
Nevermind the pioneer woman, come bake treats for me. I want maple syrup, pancakes and bacon so bad right now.
“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.”
🙂
It was an Angel who fell from Heaven and landed on me that day in 1995. God tripped you on purpose!
Ahhhh. I LOVE you!
I love, love, love a well-written post that brings a good chuckle, all with visions of cupcakes in the background. Thanks for bringing a smile to my morning!
Thanks Morgan! Don’t cupcakes make the world brighter?
Great recipes! I think we can all relate to Ree in some way or another, because your point is very observant – she’s just so normal. Easy to find something to bond over =)
Oh my, both you and Ree seem so exotic to me!!!! Maple glazed bacon….holy cow! Or pig, as it were….thanks for the fun!
What a wonderful story–you brought sunshine to my otherwise cloudy morning! Ree’s got nothin’ on you–I’ve seen her show and she seems lovely, but she certainly doesn’t have your wonderful wit!! Thanks for putting a chuckle in my belly…enjoy that cowboy of yours.
Thank you! Glad to bring a chuckle–that’s my primary goal!
🙂
my daschaund smells like corn chips a lot too, lol
Seee. It’s a hound thing. 🙂
I love this post! I discovered the pioneer woman about three years ago and she has provided me with much entertainment. I hope you get to meet in real life!
My husband now thinks I’m crazy. We have a bloodhound and a miniature dachshund and I just went and smelled both of their paws. I can kind of smell the corn chips on the dachshund, but not on the bloodhound. Maybe his “I really need a bath” stink is covering it up.
Roscoes feet don’t smell like Fritos when he has been digging a lot, but otherwise, always….and he puts them in my face, as if to provoke my strange behavior!
It’s not just a hound thing! My dog is a terrier mix and, prompted by curiosity, I learned that her paws also smell like corn chips.
I first became aware of the Pioneer Woman since her last name is the same as my maiden name. No relation I’m aware of.
Also, your husband dressing as Buddy the Elf = best sport ever! I had to beg my then-boyfriend-now-husband one year to go as a couple with me to a hero/villain themed Halloween party as The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend from “The Venture Brothers” – in the end I had to make the decision for him since he waffled so much. I would never get him into spandex pants… But I think our friends thank us for that.
I hope nobody looked askance at you for sniffing your dog’s tootsies! Maybe over time your hubby will become accepting of tights and other Halloween atrocities….We are pushing 45, and we still dress up every year, and have a big lawn party…He really gets into it…
Thankfully, I was home and didn’t need to worry about any awkward looks… Except from the dog, who seemed thoroughly confused.
The hubz actually has a long track record of Halloween non-participation. Our friends have themed-parties (e.g. one year “Heroes and Villains,” another year “Famous People,” etc.), and apparently before I came around he would put the minimal possible effort into things – e.g. the theme “Movies” he just wrapped a plaid blanket around his clothes and said he was a Braveheart extra. I have been told I’ve had a positive effect on his costume choices – in that he actually endeavors to make them.
I bet your peanut butter chocolate pie is as delicious as your post is hilarious. I’m sure Ree’s a nice person too, but Pioneer Woman’s got nothing on you, sister!
Oh, thanks…very sweet! I blush!
The Pioneer Woman was one of the first blogs I started following too. She just makes ranch life seem so accessible, even when she is talking about cleaning cow poo off jeans.
I’m sorry that she didn’t tweet you back. It just feels slightly rude, in my opinion. True, she could have been busy, but if you are tweeting your friends on twitter about it, the social contract dictates that your tweets are public and it’s a public forum. If she didn’t want others to participate, just send a private text.
It’s her loss, though. I think your blog is great and a bloodhound who smells like toilet water is so much more interesting than one who smells like pond water 🙂
I used to subscribe to the Pioneer Woman’s blog but for some reason I dropped it and didn’t miss it. I am not much into celebrity blogs but I just like to read good stuff and funny stuff and cool stuff. Keep it coming!
Great post. I love how you met your husband! I too read her blog, one of the first I found online. It was fun but her show doesn’t have the same feel to it so like many of TFN newer shows I don’t watch it anymore.
Yeah…TFN has become just another reality channel. The shows are less about just good cooking and technique, and more about what’s pretty, or crazy, or those wild competitions….I have moved to The Cooking Channel for the most part.
I really enjoy your posts -they give me a laugh when I need one and the great ideas you give me in the kitchen! Personally, I am more surprised when I get an answer! I prefer to believe no one is real, and I am talking to myself… then I am gobsmacked when someone responds! KJK “kinda just kidding”
Oh, I know…I have commented on a lot of blogs, but rarely get a response….The conversations with folks all over the world is what I love most about this hobby of mine….I learn so much from so many!
oh and it’s totally her loss, but you know that right?
Any missed opportunity to make a friend is a loss, I think….
😉
Huh! I just figured it was ’cause I was a guy and this is the internet etc etc… I’m kinda’ glad to see others have tipped their hats to the woman without a tip in return. Makes one wonder, could it be my cyber deodorant?
Nahhh. I’m sure she’s a lovely person….just very, very popular… If she tipped her hat back at everyone that tipped at her, she’d look like a bobble head of herself….Which would be pretty marketable, now that I think of it…. 🙂
ha ha! You’re probably right. I like the bobble head. line up a row of celebrity head bobble heads and when your cooking ask them, “Am I the best cook you ever met?” then whack ’em so they all agree! lol
What a fun and funny human being you are…Her loss, dear! It’s not just with you. She did not answered my tweet either. Actually, this seems to be very common behavior from several famous bloggers. Fame has gone to their heads — just saying! 🙂
The interacting is the best part of blogging….they don’t know what they’re missing…
Great post. I’m sure everyone has had a tweet ignored by our celeb ‘family members’ haha. I love the story about you and your guy! Gonna definitely try the pie recipe! Cheers.
Oh my! Peanut butter, chocolate AND pie?! Lady, you know the way to my heart!
Yes, the Holy Trinity of dessert…
I am as amused by your witty replies as I was by the post! I also love PW’s blog and can see the similarities between you two gals! I wish we were cowpeople, but mostly only for all the romantic reasons, not the actual work, lol. I wouldn’t mind seeing my hunk in cowboy boots and a hat all day though;)
yeah, I’m not lyin’—men in boots and chaps are HOT!
You are so cracking me up. Love your stuff, Have to come by tomorrow to read some more. For now, off to bed.
Sweetheart. You’re in a league of your own. No wonder Pioneer Woman didn’t tweet you back. Keep doing what you’re doing. Your fab sense of humour. The stories your son is going to hate you for when he is grown up. Keep them coming. You’re one of a kind. A doll in the kitchen. Keep cooking. Be the individual I see. Virginia
And that was the nicest thing I’ve heard since I started blogging. I am humbled.
P.S. I feel I am qualified to make some cow club comments. There’s 250 cows and calves munching away about 100 feet from my kitchen. Virginia once again
I promise, texanaskitchen, that I will never dis you via tweet! (Though I’m not sure I even remember the password to my account – or the username for that matter) Still I would never dis you! :0) love the humor in your blogging! Thanks for dropping by!
Ha! I may not know if you did. Not sure I really have Twitter figured out. Must study up on it some! 🙂
I like Ree’s blog, and most of her recipes. Never tried to tweet her though. On the cowboy theme, I did do a blog post recently on my farm block about “stack”, and how it truly *should* look (as opposed to how some websites say it should look.) Check it out here:http://farmwifesdiary.blogspot.com/2012/05/cowboys-and-their-stack.html
And thanks for following my food history blog, Peacock with Stuffing! Great to find you here in the ‘web.
That pie looks amazingggg.
And I am so sorry about your unfulfilled friendship with Ree. I’m sure she would love you if she met you 😛
It’s okay…I’m over it. I have some Momofuku Cookies to mend my broken heart! 😉
Yeah! 🙂
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