Spamorama

Most people hate getting spam.  Not me.  I love it. Celebrate it, really.  I guess I’m just weird that way.

Yes, usually the spam is annoying.  But sometimes it makes me laugh so hard my face hurts.  I mean– for people who are part of a multi- billion dollar a year ” industry” , these scammers are really quite stupid.  If you make millions of dollars a year scamming people out of money, then for God’s sake at least pay someone to write your communications for you.  Preferably someone who has a firm grasp of the language in which you are trying to scam people.

Some of these are just a waste of valuable gigabytes. Some are just plain sad.  But every now and then, I get one that is written so badly that I can’t even begin to figure out what they are trying to say. They use big fancy words, but obviously have no clue what their new found vocabulary actually means.  These are the little nuggets that I enjoy so much.  They are true gems, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Submitted on 2013/01/27 at 10:00 pm
The guilt slides open an alpha dog guide. Yet another rifle aborts! A car or truck bests the person. Ahead of the spend bows the used holy bible. A stretch guru folds over the revealed likelihood. A person’s password participates.

Does this make sense in any language?

Submitted on 2013/01/03 at 2:06 am
This is the punish Texana’s Kitchen | Spamorama blog for anyone who wants to essay out out almost this topic. You react so more its almost debilitating to reason with you (not that I really would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new extend on a substance thats been backhand nigh for geezerhood. Fastidious squeeze, just extraordinary

WTF are you smoking?

I cherished as much as you will obtain performed right here. The comic strip is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nevertheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you would like be turning in the following. in poor health for sure come further before once more since exactly the similar nearly a lot ceaselessly inside of case you shield this hike.

Sometimes, there are just no words.  This may be the most incoherent string of words ever strung together.  A troop of monkeys could do better with a Scrabble board.

 

Submitted on 2012/10/22 at 10:51 am

I was fantastically detective novel to locate this site proceeding bing.I required to articulate countless gratitude to you with regard to this vast read!! I surelyliked all insufficiently tad of it and I’ve you bookmarked to look interested in new things you post.

Eh, what?  I think you should rethink your choice of mixing booze with hydrocodone.

Submitted on 2012/10/20 at 10:11 am

Internet is a source of information and knowledge. But there are so many sites in net which are nothing but gibberish. But when I visit your site – I felt that – in net there are lots of sites (like this) from where I can get lot of information too. And if I say truly – your site is fantastic. I’ve bookmarked your site in my browser; I hope in future days I’ll get more valuable information from your site.

 Gibberish, you say?  I do believe you have had hit the nail on the head.

Submitted on 2012/10/19 at 4:25 pm

The Ships’s Voyages…

I believe engineering just causes it to be even worse. Now there is a channel to never treatment, now there is not going to be a prospect for them to discover….

Captain’s Log, stardate 10/19/2012: “There is no evidence of intelligent life here:”

Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely magnificent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re saying and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it smart. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is actually a tremendous
web site.

Ahhh.  It’s good to be magnificent!

Submitted on 2012/09/26 at 17:29

Glad to be 1 of several visitants on this wonderful web internet site : D.

Is a visitant what happens when a vistor and a mutant have a baby?

 
This is my favorite thus far–it appears as if the spammers actually use templates to draft their articulate messages, but this guy forgot to delete the alternate choices in this one, so I got all of the options….I am sure someone can quickly run a permutation calculation here to figure out how many possible messages there are…
 

{ Great information | Good info | Wonderful information } { I’ll check back | I will be back | I will check back } { for any info | for more info | for information } {related to | about | in regards to } HCG. I {have heard|read}|have seen|browsed} a lot {about|on|regarding|in regards to} the hcg diet, and it {appears|seemslooks like|is apparent} there are {mixed reviews|differing opinions|several points of view|great reviews}.

Submitted on 2012/09/26 at 20:29

You made some respectable factors there. I appeared on the web for the issue and located most people will go along with together with your website.

Eh…huh?

 
 
Submitted on 2012/08/13 at 20:26

Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all folks you actually recognize what you’re talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly also seek advice from my site =). We can have a link trade contract between us!

Uh, yeah. That’s not gonna happen.

Submitted on 2012/08/02 at 10:04

I used to be suggested this web site by way of my cousin. I am not sure whether or not this post is written via him as no one else recognize such certain about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!

Uh, no.  I am not your cousin, but your trouble is pretty apparent.

 
Submitted on 2012/08/06 at 02:56

Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all people you really know what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly also talk over with my website =). We will have a hyperlink change arrangement among us

No, there will be no such arrangement among us…

Submitted on 2012/08/11 at 03:12

certainly like your web site but you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I¡¦ll certainly come again again.

Okay…I need to test MY spelling?  How ’bout my grammar? My sentence structure? My command of the English language?

Submitted on 2012/08/10 at 06:19

Great write-up, I¡¦m regular visitor of one¡¦s site, maintain up the excellent operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a long time.

Eh…huh?

Submitted on 2012/08/08 at 23:20

Thank you, I’ve just been searching for info approximately this subject for a long time and yours is the best I’ve found out till now. However, what about the bottom line? Are you sure concerning the source?

Oh….The botom line?  The bottom line is that you’re an idiot. 

Submitted on 2012/08/02 at 07:40

I do consider all the ideas you’ve introduced in your post. They’re really convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too quick for novices. May you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

That’s the first time I have ever been accused of brevity.

 
Submitted on 2012/08/01 at 23:33

hello!,I love your writing very so much! share we keep up a correspondence more about your post on AOL? I need a specialist on this house to resolve my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to look you.

I don’t really think I am qualified to resolve his particular problem….

 
Submitted on 2012/08/01 at 06:36

There is noticeably a great deal of dollars to comprehend this. I suppose you produced certain good points in functions also. 130135

Eh….what?!

Submitted on 2012/07/31 at 04:10

I believe you’ve made a number of actually intriguing factors. Made men and women would certainly in fact consider this the way you just would. I am genuinely satisfied which there’s a great deal about it subject that is been recently discovered and you also made it happen very well, with so a lot class. Doozy anyone, person! Fantastic products here.

THANKS!……I think……….
 
 
 
Submitted on 2012/07/30 at 06:17

If you are needing to produce alteration in an individuals llife, during i would say the Are typically Bodyweight peeling off pounds training course are a wide path within the direction of gaining any search. la weight loss 635282

Submitted to a friend on 2012/07/25

WE THE FBI HAVE WARRANT TO ARREST YOU GET BACK TO US FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

It’s so nice of the FBI to give a head’s up to a Felon before arresting her, isn’t it?  But they must be serious, since they typed in all caps!

Submitted on 2012/07/25 at 09:15–my Dutch isn’t very good, but it isn’t hard to tell what this one is about  ;)

Ben je op zoek naar een Nederlandse sexdate ? Zoek dan niet meer verder, jouw geluk kan niet op bij ons. Schrijf je vandaag nog gratis in en sex date direct!

 
Submitted on 2012/07/21 at 23:14

I have to voice my admiration for your generosity supporting those who really need assistance with in this topic. Your personal commitment to getting the message throughout ended up being surprisingly effective and has frequently enabled guys like me to reach their dreams. Your amazing valuable instruction can mean much a person like me and especially to my colleagues. Many thanks; from all of us.

Submitted July 19th, 2012

That is a real wonderful resource that you are delivering so you provide absent at no cost. I enjoy experiencing sites that will understand the value of delivering a quality resource at no cost. It’s the outdated just what encircles comes on th scene schedule. Would you acquired lots of back links and i also observe lots of trackbacks?

Double “WTH?”

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39 Comments on “Spamorama”

  1. 2012/07/25 at 2:33 pm #

    Nice! You are indeed a grown woman! Do you take submissions?

  2. 2012/07/31 at 12:33 am #

    Hysterical to the power of 10

    • 2012/07/31 at 12:39 am #

      I’m telling you…..you can’t make up funnier stuff than real life. These spammers are morons.

  3. 2012/08/02 at 4:29 pm #

    Hahaha, one I got recently went something like this “It seems like morons are writing comments about this post…” followed by grammatical errors and more nonesense. Cracked me up especially since that was the only comment filed under that post! How ironic!

    • 2012/08/02 at 4:32 pm #

      check back a little while to see one I just got. It is actually a spammers “form email”, a template of sorts. Except they forgot to remove all of the options in their little template, so you can clearly see the many versions they may produce with it.

      • 2012/08/02 at 4:35 pm #

        Interesting! I figured they had something like that since the sentences seem choppy and incoherent at times…

      • 2012/08/02 at 4:44 pm #

        just posted it

      • 2012/08/02 at 5:53 pm #

        too funny!

  4. 2012/08/04 at 11:18 pm #

    You’ve made me want to go and actually look at my spam box to see what hidden gems await me. Too much fun with what most consider an fricken pain in the arse. Enjoy always, T

  5. 2012/08/09 at 10:02 pm #

    The ones I find most interesting are the spam comments that tell me how terrible my blog is – usually the criticism involves not being informative enough, or not writing well enough. I’m not sure exactly what the spammers intend to gain by that! (If anything, when I choose to inform, I provide too much information, and I am conceited enough to believe that I write fairly well!)

    Nancy
    http://www.workingmomadventures.com

  6. 2012/08/14 at 10:19 pm #

    Its funny you should mention your enjoyment of spam. I think it can be a useful idea generator, particularly the “Nigerian prince” scams, as a source of backstory, characters and names for writing fiction. :) One day I will write a novel about it.. one day.. one day…

  7. 2012/08/14 at 10:28 pm #

    Wow. As a new blogger, I find this all a bit odd. I love spam as well. But I prefer it fried with scrambled eggs. Drum egg roll, please. I’m just so hungry now!

  8. 2012/08/15 at 8:52 am #

    It never ocurred to me to recycle spam. Kudos!

  9. 2012/08/23 at 2:51 am #

    My God I must be getting old. When you said spam, I thought you meant the meat – you being a foodie and all

  10. simplehealthygood
    2012/08/25 at 11:44 pm #

    Hahahahaha! :)

  11. 2012/08/29 at 10:23 pm #

    Damn, I just laughed so hard I woke up the puppy! I get all of these, too, of course but I just delete them without taking the time to enjoy and ridicule. :)

    • 2012/08/29 at 10:36 pm #

      Sometimes they really make me wonder about the future of the human race. And sometimes they just make me wonder….

  12. 2012/10/06 at 9:45 am #

    Great post!

  13. 2012/10/23 at 1:30 pm #

    Incredible! Almost makes me afraid to comment. I too could end up on your wall of Spam. But I cant resist the urge to comment on “visitant”. I’m pretty sure it is the result of a drive by conception.

    • 2012/10/23 at 1:42 pm #

      No articulate person such as yourself, or even semi-articulate person for that matter, could ever wind up on the SPAM wall of shame. You can clearly string some words together in a way that makes sense! :D

  14. 2012/10/23 at 1:33 pm #

    Thanks for restoring the humor in it all. I’ve have most of these on my own blog and thought; how is it that someone who could not have possibly gotten past grade school, managed to start a business and is sending this fish-carp? Or that they continue to do so and SE’s haven’t shut them down? But at least when I’m really bored, I can look in the spam section and have a good laugh. LOL

    • 2012/10/23 at 1:44 pm #

      Certainly, these folks did not come from the deep end of the gene pool. But you would think that they would figure out to hire someone who actually speaks the language in which they are trying to communicate….

  15. Mad Scientist
    2012/10/23 at 1:54 pm #

    If you need to go on the run and hide, do it well….it is hard to fool the FBI…especially when they use all caps.

  16. 2012/10/23 at 2:19 pm #

    I’m pretty sure I’ve taught most of these people at one time or another…. when I taught in inner-city San Antonio and Houston. I believe many of them are telemarketers now with the cable company.

  17. 2012/11/06 at 5:52 am #

    good old spam! thanks for dropping by my blog, yours is amazing! x

  18. 2012/11/12 at 6:47 pm #

    Reminds me of your “street lit” debate.

  19. 2012/11/15 at 7:49 pm #

    Your style is definitely sweet. Like Jd Sallinger.

  20. 2012/11/24 at 7:28 am #

    I SAY NUKE THEM !!!

  21. 2012/12/22 at 5:53 pm #

    Wow that was odd. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say great blog!

  22. 2013/01/24 at 7:55 am #

    LOL!! great blog!! seems like “Google Translate” has been very busy with these spammers!!

  23. 2013/11/14 at 11:48 am #

    The best thing to do with Spam is grind it up with cheese, onions, sweet pickles, and hard-boiled eggs. Stir in a bit of mayo, spread on a hamburger bun – open faced, and broil til lightly browned.

    Unfortunately most of the nuttiness I find in my spam box can’t be eaten…and if it could would give a horrible case of indigestion. My personal favorites are the ones that are a full page of Asian text. Do I LOOK like I would understand a word of Chinese?? :)

    \o/

    • 2013/11/14 at 1:35 pm #

      I’m getting lots of Chinese spam also. And for some reason unknown to me, everyone wants to sell me fake Luis Vuitton purses.

  24. Lily
    2014/01/02 at 1:03 am #

    Excuse me, why do you like spam?

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